Over the weekend, our exchange student arrived from Japan. She is a very shy girl and her English leaves something to be desired. My Japanese is ok, my wife's is not terrific, and overall we can communicate fairly well with her, even though sometimes she answers a yes/no question "yes" when she really wants to say "no".
I was reading a thread this morning about nostalgia. There is a picture of the first few screens of Pokemon red/blue, and a caption saying that of all the wonder, since you don't know what is to come, you have amazing hopes and desires and excitement for this game you are about to play. And after you play it the first time, that feeling is gone because the wonder is gone. Other people in the thread commented about other games and experiences they had that felt the same way. I am not a man to cry at my desk job, but I felt compelled to write a bit about that experience and maybe understand other times in my life I had that feeling.
"Wonder" is a great way to express the feeling. It is a combination of the unknown, things you just haven't yet experienced but know you will, and amazement of knowing there will be excitement during that experience. I wanted to write this blog today to cover some of the finer points of "wonder" and "nostalgia".
For sake of definition, "nostalgia" is remembering the wonder from your past. I can't quite describe it any other way. You get this feeling when thinking about new toys, watching old movies, going to old locations that you had great times when you were young.
Can we duplicate that feeling? Other people like to attribute it to specifics. I remember the first day I'd ever played World of Warcraft. It took about two hours to get to level 6 and make the long journey for my Horde Troll to get to Ogrimar. I remember seeing characters at level 50 and thinking that was so much higher leveled that I would ever get to (that troll only made it to level 34!)
Old games really do it for me. Thinking back to sleep-over parties playing Final Fantasy VII; even the first run through Link to the Past. There was an expectation of greatness to come. And greatness did come - both through the actual power I received through in-game mechanics (bigger weapons, chaining Materia) and the emotional connections I had with the characters (Death of Aeris)
My wife just played through Chrono Trigger for the first time, and I don't think she experienced the same level of emotions that I do on every re-run I play. Maybe that sense of wonder can't be shared between people on those same levels. Maybe she feels that same way when reading a new book. As I have gotten older, I also understand that a game has a finite limit of characters, levels, weapons, and spells. Programmers and artists are human, after all. I understand that my journey will end after 10 hours. When I was a kid, a game could have taken a month to complete, and knowing that the end was so far out was something that is hard to relive now that I am an adult.
Another recent bit of wonder I have experienced is Japanese. When I first started learning the language, even the most basic kana symbols gave that same sense of wonder. あかさたなはまやらわ. There were over 2000 kanji I needed to know. They could have meant anything!! Japanese also reminded me of a game - each individual kanji could represent a specific statistic on a menu screen in old japanese RPGs. Your player could have 強 薬 魔 勇 知. Each kanji had this complexity and beauty and they all represent something so powerful and rich and wonderful.
After learning the language for 4 years, I still felt that way. I had over 1300 kanji to learn, and that was just to know "everyday kanji". One day, I decided to simply write down the meanings of all the kanji I didn't know still from the first 2000. It was a little overwhelming at first, but the more I did it the easier it became. And slowly, one by one, my wonder melted away. I realized that the rest of the kanji were either concepts that I'd already covered, simple verbs, or worse - names. By the time I finished the last one, there was no wonder left. There was really no excitement, either. All of the kanji were things and simple concepts that someone from ancient China would need to know. No magic words, no secrets, no wonder, mystery, excitement. Bummer. I did run across 衡 which is a kanji I adore greatly. It means equilibrium.
As a game developer, it would be wise to figure out how to create a game full of wonder and mystery and excitement. Gamers have an expectation to have magic and power in a game. They want to see space flight; levitation; ability to bend rules of physics, spacetime, mathematics, and art. They want to leave a mark on the world they are exploring. They want to meet characters. They want to live in this world that is not at all like the real world. Even more, they want to do it while interacting with other people online at the same time. How is this going to be possible? Do we design that feeling and that wonder into the game? Can a game even be made with that much emotion and feeling and power? No wonder games like this are rare :)
I will think this over. I look forward to the day I have the confidence to break away from the emotions and feelings and create something breathtaking and amazing.
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