Maybe it's a cultural thing

I've been getting to work very early hoping that I can do my own work before the real work starts. Today was a little different, I got some weird sleep after some odd dream of being chased by a gun-wielding maniac. I just didn't have the full motivation to get going.

Instead, I read the news. Today was depressing.

There is some supposed Quran burning in central Florida on Saturday, some real winners there. It has sparked a firestorm of complete idiocy in this country. I read another story about how most people in Ohio think God will take care of global warming and people need not worry. Last but not least, I read some long conversation about video game addiction, and I weep inside both for the victim of the addiction and the fact that I'm not playing games anymore. Ugh..

America has become a depressing place for an intellectual. Instead of the "American Dream" of growing up, earning based on your hard work, and doing what you want in life, you are stuck working for other people because that is the only opportunity that exists. You want to make something grand out of your life, but you are limited by lack of education. I am a very smart person - and yet I still have to play by the rules that people that are too scared to lose theirs have set up. When I eventually naturalize to some European or Asian country in a few years, it will be one of the greatest days of my life. I can't wait to leave this shithole. Last night on the news, I hear the German Chancellor talk about European freedoms. They have freedoms of speech and religion, they are safe from the worst crimes and you really can't go toting around a gun everywhere you go. People are important - not some multinational global corporation calling all of the shots and making sure that the low classes stay low. I will definitely be some polyglot at that time. What's an even richer factoid is that most Americans are learning Spanish as their second language to deal with the increased flood of Mexicans who live in this country now. If they were to naturalize to Europe, they would end up living in the poorest shittiest country in Europe! (ok, eastern europe is a true shithole, but Spain is just a fucking joke).

As humans, we are living in a truly strange time for "animals". I don't see dirt and grime, I don't have to hunt for my food, I don't really have any animal left in me to do these things anyway. I sleep on a space-age bed with processed blankets in a room that has scientifically proofed air filtration and cooling systems.

But I'm not happy.

My wife experiences complete anxiety - she's not worried about eating her next meal or getting enough water to live another day. She is worried about global catastrophe, about getting enough sleep for a night so she can do her homework. Homework for somebody else so she can prove to an employer that won't pay her her fair salary to make sure crazy people are ok. What a country.

I, on the other hand, just want to play with information and science. I want to create a program that would simulate life. I want to create a program that would interface cleanly with a person's mind and let them go through different stages and tunnels and understand a completely different part of themselves reflected back at them through the world they create. Of course, that sort of software takes time - and resources - and I have to do work for other people because the kind of software I want to create doesn't look like it's going to generate any money in the short term (the kind of money people are really worried about now!)

I am really excited for December 21st, 2012. I think that is the turning point for the world. There is going to be a lot of shit going on in the 6 months up to that point, and then the 6 months afterward.

more later.