6am and no way I can keep sleeping. Jet lag and stress will do this to you. I'm feeling what I was feeling last monday- that I don't belong. That's a tough thing to get over,. especially at 430am on a night I could use some sleep. Same shit, different decade. This time, I don't have a distraction.
I don't know what to do.about Sora. I want to wait for him, but I'm starting to lose hope that he likes me and would be willing to put up with me. Do I want to suffer through years of this shitty job for a vague chance that this quiet guy is going to like me.back? That's obviously my concern. To him, there are lots of older white guys who are interested in him. To me, there's a shrinking pool of nice guys like him interested back. That sucks. I don't feel like I have much of a chance at happiness, and Sora is the one I'm currently waiting for.
I don't have the time to type everything out, but like other stress, when it rains in pours. Work is going to kill me. I have no leisure time. No Sora, no love. At least my health is pretty good and I have money. But I'm lonely and stressed. I need a way to get on top of my shit again and I'm going to feel a lot better.
And sleep. My head already fucking hurts.
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