what a weird situation i have fallen into. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to feel. I need to just be with Yuu.
I can't say i feel anything. I mean, there's like this horrifying loss or something, I don't quite know how to describe it. I don't think he's going to be with me in the end anyway. I had sex and slept peacefully with somebody completely different last night and I felt absolutely nothing. The sex was ok, but passionless. I thought about Yuu during the sex. I need to hold him, have his warm head on my chest and softly drift asleep with him there. It's beyond how I feel about Sora. It's beyond how I feel about most of the guys I want to be with. I think he could be something else.
And I'm troubled knowing that I know he doesn't feel the same way about me, but I have to try to just be with him at least once.
Songs are emotion. That's all they are. I have been feeling very "Mr. Wonderful" lately and luckily as an upbeat version of it. I want to feel something else. I can't. Yuu's in Tokyo.
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