8/14 just one of those days

I shouldn't ultimately be upset at myself for this date that just went fucking wrong tonight. If he's not interested in me, I have to remember that that eliminates him from the "being my type" pool. He might be the most beautiful boy in the whole world (Sora, est 2016) but that doesn't make him somebody I want to spend a large amount of my life with.

Yuu is starting to warm up to my silliness. I really hope he gets me. I think there's certainly ways that I can poke and prod him to ultimately be ready to just talk to me when he sees me face to face for the first time. He's really something special and I can't let somebody like him get away. Even if I have to go the distance most of the time, I am truly just grateful that he's somebody that might exist in my life. Yea, I don't know if it's the drugs talking or what but I sure feel good tonight even after a fucking date that just went south.

And in the end, yea, wasn't that the fucking hell shit I went through. I'm glad I told that story to a bunch of different people. It really helps me get behind it and know that it's pretty much not something I should ultimately be happy with. In the end, even though I've blurted to reddit that I'm in love with this guy who I don't even know, you have people like Darryl, Cassy, Giulia, Toma. Forgot Ross so i'm adding him as an edit. Is there anybody else I'm racing to tell about my problems?  とも I don't know so well but he looks like he's going to be one of those internet friends that I get to just hold on to for awhile. I'm so glad I have one, they are honestly really good people and I think they keep me honest. I don't talk to my parents anymore because they honestly don't want anything to do with my dating life. Maybe i'll call my sister one of these mornings so we can catch up before the big party.

I love how every boy I have any mild interest in at this moment has the same name. Yooh is a funny looking name. Yuu is my man. 悠 took awhile to find that kanji but it's also pronounced the same. Then there's Yuki, who I would probably never call just Yu.

let me at least suck a dick tomorrow night and we'll figure out who we want to call what and tell to whom during the 添い寝. God damn i need Yuu's head on my chest.