yea, it's funny that humans operate this way. I have to talk to somebody to retain a voice. So why do I want the hottest guy I can imagine to be someone that's my voice? It doesn't really even make sense.
Let's look at some of the other voices I have.
Maa. I can't talk about work stuff. He's making my life hard. I need to tell that to him in a private way.
Thomas - i am uncomfortable about talking about specific sex acts with him. It's like a weird form of shame. He knows pretty much everything about me and my life, and maybe i'm excited that there's one person in the world who would actually be sad if I left.
Bai - hard in another language. she knows a bit about me. I would love her to open up to me. part of me would still do her. that sexual tension is rich and fragrant.
So Yuu needs a voice. what is it?
I think it's me, in Japanese. a full commitment of myself as somebody else in a completely different culture and language. he's beautiful and there's real motivation there. My motivation for him is that I want somebody that looks like him to sleep on my chest every night of the week. Maybe I feel like I need the protection still.
I need protection. from what.
loneliness
disconnection
and this defines the type of relationship that i want. ideally, this relationship would just be us chatting about anything that comes up and genuinely enjoy the few times a month I could go down to osaka and be his best friend. after years, if we were still best friends, maybe try to make something of it, but honestly he's young and he should be out there making mistakes while he can. either way, i still feel like I need this being to protect me from something.
of course, being a gay man, i need it to be a person with a shared experience that I can connect to in a way that other people can't. I think that's going to be his thing. I need a way to show him that I'm not very different, and that may encourage him to create a voice in me that he doesn't really think he has. That's my ultimate goal with all this stuff, to have this person that's just there, who wants me.
I need confidence. I only have so many hours in the day. My new hobby just became Yuu. the hobby will last as long as I feel like I'm getting out of it what I'm putting into it. So, for the sake of this situation, what do I ultimately want from him?
Genuine curiosity - if i start explaining something completely whack, he might actually find something to pick at
the ideal relationship, including compromises.
I'm this guy who has a lot of wisdom that you want. He's like brimming at the seams with so much he doesn't know how to handle it. He's also sexy, we met that way first. It's not like a "have my children" sexy, but it's something. Definitely animal. He seems
I guess when it comes from me, I'm american. please realize two facts. one, when i speak japanese, i become a different person. and two, i've never said these things to anybody IN japanese before, so you're seeing a part of me I have never even shown myself.
two, culturally there are different rules, so you're literally experiencing my culture through my words and experiences. the way I say things may sound strange and uncomfortable, but remember that some of it is completely unintentional, and I am a channel of that culture.
boring.
We would meet whenever we could, reasonably speaking. I would just be another hobby, and over time we would involve each other in parts of our lives. I have to say that I do get jealous. I don't know if i could swallow him being with another person unless I was 100% sure he didn't have that same relationship with somebody else.
so now you know enough about what i am, and time to tell you what I can do.
I'm a computer programmer. Computer are electrical machines that do a series of instructions one at a time until there's no more instructions to do. My job is to organize the instructions in a way that creates the illusion of something happening. There has to be a small enough number of them so that I can not only calculate a physical scene but draw a picture of it from a certain angle 60 times a second.
As I got better with computers, my research took me in one main direction and two side directions. obviously how to do the previous thing fast enough is my main research and will go on until the day I retire. I'm not pushing for advanced visual fidelity or any of that crap, I'm looking for the shortest instruction set that can keep a human indefinitely entertained. It sounds absolutely terrifying when I put it that way, but that is my ultimate goal. Many companies have come very close to producing these pieces of software, and for many different reasons. I want to not only keep a person occupied but use that time as wisely as possible, presenting them with realities they are not able to experience. This also includes the ability for multiple people to interact in this same reality, not unlike SAO. But, I'm not talking just about living in a world that looks like medival europe. I'm talking what if you entered a reality where you were no longer human but were something much more primal.
My research also extends well into mathematical fields. I can use the computer to organize data, even data it generates. These data structures can then be viewed in different ways to retrieve different results. A recent example is showing a computer program the text to Harry Potter. It can find how the words are connected in different chains and then read through those chains to automatically generate new sentences.
When I was younger I did a lot of drugs. Sometimes you will meet an older person who has done drugs for a long time and their minds are totally messed up. I have certainly changed, but I feel my perspectives on everything has completely removed myself when thinking about things. For example, I was hit by my parents as a child.
What don't i have? what would make this ideal for me?
I just need somebody that i love to show my that they are thinking about me. it's super selfish isn't it. god, i don't even want to read this text. Maybe this is what cassy was talking about.
Cassy - i don't want her to know that I'm happier now, or how I'm happier now.
so what do i want from this guy. Youth to look at me in my eyes and smile. tell me that they love me.
i want my chest to be his home base. A place he just wants to live. that's the only thing i want. it's like a want a son. but he's more than that, a person that has already had a full life of experience and wonder they want to talk about. I've been on adventures places, and that's fun, but i'm ready to explore someone else's mind.
and that's what i can provide. a place to feel safe. A place to be treated with the intellectual stimulation forever. and only for you, Yuu-kun, i will stay with you until you find someplace better to be. You are free to fly, you are the wind.
Saturday, August 11, 2018
Friday, January 12, 2018
A long road back
I don't know what it will be like looking back at these comments in years and thinking I had it all figured out. I was sure Sora was the one - he went back into the firmament, floated on up out of reach, then out of sight. And sometimes I see a small star at night where I know he is, and I look at it and shake my head at the perfect person I wanted to be like and not the perfect person to be with. I won't ever stop feeling that way about him, I don't think.
Kaito is the new kid in town. Something about him is really special. I just don't know what it is. I do honestly really like him. Maybe he's not as good looking as some of the other candidates, but I do like who he is an awful lot. His wonderful brain is attached through a cute body to what could be the most satisfying penis I've ever come across. His dick is in all real terms perfect. It's delicious, and honestly it's the dick I've been looking for. And the head it's attached to is in love with me, which makes it nice when he's going to make a life change to be as close to me as possible for the next as long as he can.
It helps that I also love him, too. He's .. 落ち着け。But on the other hand, he's a wild and talkative 落ち着け that I want to become as well. He's genuinely submissive, I feel like he doesn't need to listen. He's not there yet. I feel like I'm running out of Japanese to use on him. That's ironic and funny. He needs to ask me more questions, he does talk about himself and his experiences a lot. We also talk about the here and now about how this relationship is awesome. He's making a huge life change for someone he doesn't really know, but trusts.
--
A year later, I met Kaito. Funny that he sort of fell out of the sky into my lap when I had been chasing and chasing the other boys for such a long time prior to this. Sora was literally a hunt; I sat on that cliff waiting for that butterfly to come back, and when he did, he had completely evolved. I don't even know what I was looking at anymore. It was not a horseshoe evolution I had hoped for, it was twisted and not flying like it used to. I miss his company, his warm body, and his "japanese-ness". I would have had a lifetime of constantly hoping for more. Ryo offered a similar escape from the familiar with a romance and caution that I felt would sooth me. He wasn't the straightforward grace of Sora. He was just Ryo. There was something sacred about him, he was scared of going "all gay".
I waited for Sora all year. He was the reason the year started for fuck's sake. 6 months into it, Sora's out of the picture. I meet boy after boy, some near, some far, some good at conversations, some good at sex. I'd say the vast majority of the guys I met were my type. I'm into guys. Wow, duh. It's so much easier to date guys. Hang out for a bit, play around, fuck if they're cute enough. Sometimes the conversations are pretty entertaining, too, and I get that nice surge of whatever brain chemical comes with speaking a foreign language fluently.
Kaito was sort of a fluke anyway.
I just read our messages from when we first met. He's so sweet and trying. My Japanese just doesn't make sense sometimes. Wow, did I just introduce proofreading?
He does things that I do, so it's like having a perfect companion. He plays games, he wants me to play with his dick, we talk, we cook. I like to stay up late and laugh. he likes to get up early and make coffee for everybody. I love this man. We really could start some sort of family.
So that is what I have now. It's a real relationship. A real gay relationship. I think the difference was that I never found somebody that I felt would protect me from it all. Now I did - whoever could possibly confront me on being gay won't hurt me at all because I instead have this man that I love that loves me back. I real significant other. He's more than that. He's my other half. It's strange because usually I want to be the people I'm into man-wise. But he's just all of the things I want in a best friend and partner and he loves me back. I think I'm all of those things to him as well. I need to figure out what I'm missing, what I can provide, and what I can try to do emotionally. The problems is I analyze everything so much that I eliminated my emotions completely in the past. Here's somebody that I feel needs some additional emotional support that I should be able to provide - at least to the standards that a man needs emotional support. I don't know many gay couples. Actually, aside from a few older women who I've never thought of as humans at all up until this point in my life, I don't think I know any gay couples. What?!
So Kaito needs to move here. We can be close together every day. I don't know how long it's going to last before every single night one of us stays at the other's apartment. He's so fucking special to me. それも日本語をできるようになりましたね。難しいのは長い説明。それを何回もう説明しました。たくさんのデートさんと話したときはさあ。
俺も日本語を自分でタイピングすることがありません。いつもちょっと文章っぽいやつだけができましたと思う。だが、今、スムーズ日本語をお水のようなdelugeは今注いでいる。
毎日カイト君と一緒に過ごす。日本語をだんだん使って、上手になる。何について話した？過去の話題、もう一回話した？練習したいものあるのでしょうか？自分で、どんな口で話すの？外国人はそんな考えを一切考えたことないと思う。
実はこの通りだ。時々ため口。時々丁寧語。敬語も登場してはる。冗談と皮肉的な使い方ある。
自分のために、ブロッグを書く。もう一回読むことある？じゃ、確かに。日本語になれば、他の人からの防御力アップだと思う。馬鹿な思想だな。
カイト君を聞いてもらいたいこと
それ自体。
so what am i? What axis is that even trying to look down even? I want to be a happy meat robot as long as possible. I know that means taking care of onesself, so I should probably get on that, too. I love Kaito. He's going to be around for a really long time, especially if this move goes smoothly. I want to hold him, sleep with him, have sex with him, go on trips with him, talk about life, contemporary stuff, everything. we're already best friends. I want that to last forever.
Kaito is the new kid in town. Something about him is really special. I just don't know what it is. I do honestly really like him. Maybe he's not as good looking as some of the other candidates, but I do like who he is an awful lot. His wonderful brain is attached through a cute body to what could be the most satisfying penis I've ever come across. His dick is in all real terms perfect. It's delicious, and honestly it's the dick I've been looking for. And the head it's attached to is in love with me, which makes it nice when he's going to make a life change to be as close to me as possible for the next as long as he can.
It helps that I also love him, too. He's .. 落ち着け。But on the other hand, he's a wild and talkative 落ち着け that I want to become as well. He's genuinely submissive, I feel like he doesn't need to listen. He's not there yet. I feel like I'm running out of Japanese to use on him. That's ironic and funny. He needs to ask me more questions, he does talk about himself and his experiences a lot. We also talk about the here and now about how this relationship is awesome. He's making a huge life change for someone he doesn't really know, but trusts.
--
A year later, I met Kaito. Funny that he sort of fell out of the sky into my lap when I had been chasing and chasing the other boys for such a long time prior to this. Sora was literally a hunt; I sat on that cliff waiting for that butterfly to come back, and when he did, he had completely evolved. I don't even know what I was looking at anymore. It was not a horseshoe evolution I had hoped for, it was twisted and not flying like it used to. I miss his company, his warm body, and his "japanese-ness". I would have had a lifetime of constantly hoping for more. Ryo offered a similar escape from the familiar with a romance and caution that I felt would sooth me. He wasn't the straightforward grace of Sora. He was just Ryo. There was something sacred about him, he was scared of going "all gay".
I waited for Sora all year. He was the reason the year started for fuck's sake. 6 months into it, Sora's out of the picture. I meet boy after boy, some near, some far, some good at conversations, some good at sex. I'd say the vast majority of the guys I met were my type. I'm into guys. Wow, duh. It's so much easier to date guys. Hang out for a bit, play around, fuck if they're cute enough. Sometimes the conversations are pretty entertaining, too, and I get that nice surge of whatever brain chemical comes with speaking a foreign language fluently.
Kaito was sort of a fluke anyway.
I just read our messages from when we first met. He's so sweet and trying. My Japanese just doesn't make sense sometimes. Wow, did I just introduce proofreading?
He does things that I do, so it's like having a perfect companion. He plays games, he wants me to play with his dick, we talk, we cook. I like to stay up late and laugh. he likes to get up early and make coffee for everybody. I love this man. We really could start some sort of family.
So that is what I have now. It's a real relationship. A real gay relationship. I think the difference was that I never found somebody that I felt would protect me from it all. Now I did - whoever could possibly confront me on being gay won't hurt me at all because I instead have this man that I love that loves me back. I real significant other. He's more than that. He's my other half. It's strange because usually I want to be the people I'm into man-wise. But he's just all of the things I want in a best friend and partner and he loves me back. I think I'm all of those things to him as well. I need to figure out what I'm missing, what I can provide, and what I can try to do emotionally. The problems is I analyze everything so much that I eliminated my emotions completely in the past. Here's somebody that I feel needs some additional emotional support that I should be able to provide - at least to the standards that a man needs emotional support. I don't know many gay couples. Actually, aside from a few older women who I've never thought of as humans at all up until this point in my life, I don't think I know any gay couples. What?!
So Kaito needs to move here. We can be close together every day. I don't know how long it's going to last before every single night one of us stays at the other's apartment. He's so fucking special to me. それも日本語をできるようになりましたね。難しいのは長い説明。それを何回もう説明しました。たくさんのデートさんと話したときはさあ。
俺も日本語を自分でタイピングすることがありません。いつもちょっと文章っぽいやつだけができましたと思う。だが、今、スムーズ日本語をお水のようなdelugeは今注いでいる。
毎日カイト君と一緒に過ごす。日本語をだんだん使って、上手になる。何について話した？過去の話題、もう一回話した？練習したいものあるのでしょうか？自分で、どんな口で話すの？外国人はそんな考えを一切考えたことないと思う。
実はこの通りだ。時々ため口。時々丁寧語。敬語も登場してはる。冗談と皮肉的な使い方ある。
自分のために、ブロッグを書く。もう一回読むことある？じゃ、確かに。日本語になれば、他の人からの防御力アップだと思う。馬鹿な思想だな。
カイト君を聞いてもらいたいこと
それ自体。
so what am i? What axis is that even trying to look down even? I want to be a happy meat robot as long as possible. I know that means taking care of onesself, so I should probably get on that, too. I love Kaito. He's going to be around for a really long time, especially if this move goes smoothly. I want to hold him, sleep with him, have sex with him, go on trips with him, talk about life, contemporary stuff, everything. we're already best friends. I want that to last forever.
Saturday, July 29, 2017
7/29 Game Jam
One of those days, you know?
Leo moving back to China really grinds the old gears. Especially since he's coming back the week after Sora comes back. It makes a little more sense why he was a little distant in the previous few months, but I guess I could have had it worse.
My mind isn't all here tonight. So much going on. Still got pain, still on crazy meds, I feel like my hands are heavier than they have ever been. I'm actually strangely having a hard time concentrating on what I'm doing, I don't know if it's the fault of the tobacco or something else.
Leo moving back to China really grinds the old gears. Especially since he's coming back the week after Sora comes back. It makes a little more sense why he was a little distant in the previous few months, but I guess I could have had it worse.
My mind isn't all here tonight. So much going on. Still got pain, still on crazy meds, I feel like my hands are heavier than they have ever been. I'm actually strangely having a hard time concentrating on what I'm doing, I don't know if it's the fault of the tobacco or something else.
Friday, July 21, 2017
7/21 Friends
I always liked to think of myself as a social critter, but now that I'm experimenting with a couple more friends, I don't know if I can really keep it up. I'm turning into my dad: somebody who only really talks when there's talkin' that need to be done. That doesn't mean I don't talk to other people all the time, but I won't go out of my way to chat it up with somebody if I don't have to.
Sora sent me a birthday present, he obviously didn't know that it was my birthday (I'm sure he got a notification about it on his phone) and then he decided to send me something. I don't know why he's doing it. I don't know what kind of boyfriend he's going to be once he comes back. I'm so confused! I wish he was just gone forever so I could focus on the rest of my life. I worry that this is the real curse of adulthood - it's hard to connect with people and have real conversations.
Which really makes this whole thing such a bunk. I make friends but I don't know just how close they want to be. Leo is a nice guy - too nice. Too quiet. I wish we would share more. I don't know what type of person he is, which could be part of the cultural gap I keep trying to explore. Jun #1 is too bitchy; He is stuck in his own world and his own selfishness. Jun #2 could be exactly the type of friend I've been looking for, but I don't know quite what to give to him in terms of friendship. He lives in Osaka. Who else is in my life? Kouhei, talked to him once and he disappeared. Giulia is a girl lol. Sora is ... gone. Heart crushing. He'll be back, I'll be too nice, and then I'll resent the relationship for not going anywhere. We'll see how his English is. Maybe his personality will be completely different, too.
That doesn't leave me with very much left. There are so many people that claim they want "friends" but earning friends and keeping friends are two different things. As with the GDC experiment - just because you ask somebody to communicate with you or ask somebody to be your friend, it doesn't mean that they are going to come back and actually be one with you. I am strangely still alone in the world. I share my subtle victories with Cassy when I have to, and then wonder when the world is going to share their victories with me.
Sora sent me a birthday present, he obviously didn't know that it was my birthday (I'm sure he got a notification about it on his phone) and then he decided to send me something. I don't know why he's doing it. I don't know what kind of boyfriend he's going to be once he comes back. I'm so confused! I wish he was just gone forever so I could focus on the rest of my life. I worry that this is the real curse of adulthood - it's hard to connect with people and have real conversations.
Which really makes this whole thing such a bunk. I make friends but I don't know just how close they want to be. Leo is a nice guy - too nice. Too quiet. I wish we would share more. I don't know what type of person he is, which could be part of the cultural gap I keep trying to explore. Jun #1 is too bitchy; He is stuck in his own world and his own selfishness. Jun #2 could be exactly the type of friend I've been looking for, but I don't know quite what to give to him in terms of friendship. He lives in Osaka. Who else is in my life? Kouhei, talked to him once and he disappeared. Giulia is a girl lol. Sora is ... gone. Heart crushing. He'll be back, I'll be too nice, and then I'll resent the relationship for not going anywhere. We'll see how his English is. Maybe his personality will be completely different, too.
That doesn't leave me with very much left. There are so many people that claim they want "friends" but earning friends and keeping friends are two different things. As with the GDC experiment - just because you ask somebody to communicate with you or ask somebody to be your friend, it doesn't mean that they are going to come back and actually be one with you. I am strangely still alone in the world. I share my subtle victories with Cassy when I have to, and then wonder when the world is going to share their victories with me.
Thursday, July 13, 2017
7/13 Overheating
It's already 36 outside and mid July. I'm going to straight up roast when August comes around. Sora comes back 9 weeks from today. I'm not emotionally prepared for it. I'm not really prepared for anything.
So what's really been going wrong lately? After the std scare, I'm so fucking scared of people. I don't know what I want. Leo is cool, I guess, but I is so distant, most of it is the language. He's really the reason I'm posting tonight, a post I haven't made in a seriously long time.
I need somebody who can care for me emotionally. It's not easy, I think that's the kind of caring face I've mostly been looking for over the past lifetime. I need someone who can just hold me when I'm having a bad day. Of course, I'll be there for them, too. Is it Sora? Probably not, at least not today. He's stuck in his own life. I certainly care for him a ton, but if I don't get anything back from him, I'm really sad. Leo is just distant, he's a weird emotional rebound from Sora, who was the catalyst. Jun... Oh what to do about Jun. He could be perfect. He is in love with me and we don't even know each other. I could see myself seriously loving him back, though. It's just a killer he doesn't live here. He needs to know the truth.
Aside from my destroyed emotional state, I don't know what I want. The heat destroys me physically, work destroys me mentally. I have nothing left to use to fight socially and emotionally. Koichi is certainly going to be a burden. Yuck. I love that little puffball, too. I'd be taking the subway everyday if he didn't exist ;)
I need to figure out my life. Ffffuuuu not this shit again...
Saturday, June 10, 2017
6/11 Bad Dreams
Fear is a strange emotion. Somewhere on the border if fight or flight, perched at the edge of emminent danger, fear waits in hiding ready to strike. Usually it comes as a direct response to actual physical danger, but since we as a species have eliminated all but our own self-inflicted troubles, fear remains in the back seat waiting for its time to shine.
Sometimes my dreams feel more real that usual. I can't separate the dream world from reality. I wake up confused. I wake up relieved. If we can't exercise our response to fear enducing stimuli in the real world, our minds still create it for us in our sleep.
Last night was not about physical danger, but what I fear most - losing Sora. My mind floated a warning. It clued me into the terrifying reality that I'm completely clueless about. It came in the form of a phonecall in a dream. An accidental phonecall at that. Sora was annoyed. He was frustrated. He wanted me to go away. And I know this is not just some hallucination but an abject reality. He has a new life, he doesn't need me around reminding him that he's needed back here, too.
The signs are rare and subtle. They face the wrong way on a highway, as if blown around by the wind. Sora has a life and a support network that doesn't involve me. And that's the frustrating part about all of this. I know for certain who I am.and what relationship I want to be a part of, and how much I want the other person to be him. But it's emotionally unsustainable. I am annoying, I don't hide enough. I say what I'm feeling. The things I provide do not create comfort. I'm not easy. Certainly not. And yet I expect the world from a man who is looking for something easy. I thus haven't provided him with what he needs, either.
I'm a social creature with no social side. I like to talk, analyze, consider, investigate. New people come into my den, spin around, and leave. I capture the hearts of the eager until they realize I focus too much. It's not sustainable. It's not controllable. It sure as hell isn't easy.
But Sora is too nice. He's sleeping around because he gets comfort out of it. Now he's living with this guy. Is he happy? Is he fulfilled? I have no idea. I'm the pathetic one begging to find out like some crazed fan.
I don't hate myself for being like this, I just hate what it does to my relationships. Let's look at the rules for a minute. Rules are important to me, that's what gives me a framework for improvement. Maybe that's why this relationship is so hard. I don't know what the rules are. I play by my own. I'll come back to the some other day.
Sora is getting happy, but I'm invisible to him. I love him. I wish he knew what to do. I wish I knew what to do. And sitting him down and asking is where our incompatibilities lie; my success in this relationship lies in a few places: provide Sora physical wealth, provide him a framework to feel like he has worth, and provide him with an outlet to grow.
Maybe typing that out was what I needed. So, consider where and what he's got now. Money? Check. New boyfriend is rich and has lots of nice stuff. He definitely takes the monetary pressure off. Sora is able to give Chris sex; I didn't, or couldn't, but Sora wants to give that to me. God I hope so. Lastly, Chris gives him the opportunity to grow- full time language practice, in a foreign country, with no responsibility. That sounds exactly like what he wants. With constant ego boosting (Sora wants to hear how beautiful he is), and barebones emotional support, sounds like a great match for Sora. Damn. So I need to be more like Chris and less pathetic. I can try.
So does this mean we shouldn't talk? I just need to look like I'm doing well for myself, that Sora can come and be my boy and his quality of life will improve. That's the ultimate challenge. I'd be annoyed with me, too, if somebody was dumping nothing but emotional garbage on me. Esp in the way I am. I am playing with fire. How many weeks until he gets back?
But he doesn't need to know all of this internal shit. I wish he cared. He's not my psychiatrist. I have other friends for that. Once he trusts me as the strong one, I think this relationship will work. I can't be miserable in the meantime though.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
6/4 Labor trees
I've been a worker my whole life.
there's always been workers.
the world is broken into those who dominate and those who are dominated. the strong dominate the weak. it's always been this way; it's why lions sleep 20 hours a day. the males don't even hunt.
at some point in history, there also became the manager. in the beginning, the manager probably also was a worker, but as his management duties became more and more, he stopped working and worked by telling people what to do.
so you have workers, and people who tell people to work.
-
slave drivers and slaves
but i'm sure there are managers out there who think "well my job is shit, I get told what to do all the time" and that's also true. That means you're a worker, too. Your work involves telling people what to do.
but somewhere on the top, there are people who don't work, who own the whole tree itself. and as the trees get bigger and bigger, so does the money that makes its way to that person.
giant trees are also risky. if your tree dies, your business crumbles, you might be left with a pile of money, but your tree is dead, too. you can no longer generate wealth. So, instead of owning one tree, I own a fraction of a bunch of trees, so if one doesn't do well this year, the ones that did quite well will make up for it.
this is why a big company hires a new ceo to try something, and even if he fucks up, he still gets big money. the owners have to pay for the fertilizer, even if it doesn't work.
-
so let's think about laws for a minute.
there are laws that are obvious - thou shall not kill - intended to protect consumers
and there are also laws you would expect for a business that are common sense ,too, to protect consumers - you must say the contents of something when you sell it.
every year, the leaves fall off the trees. replacing leaves might be more expensive that keeping them on, from a leaf's perspective. If a tree dies, the workers will be inconvenienced to have to find new jobs in the meantime, but the owners who take the free money take a huge blow. So, they also have laws to keep the labors trees alive. Some of them are there to protect little trees - like copyright, but there are also laws that exist to protect giant trees - like a no-community broadband restriction.
-
So how do we change it?
First, why do we want to change it?
in 2017, the average WORKER produced a little over $100 an hour of value to the economy in the united states. That's incredible! However, for all but a disgustingly small fraction of a sliver actually saw anywhere near that kind of money in their pockets. Workers money goes up the trees - the owners and shareholders took in almost $4 trillion in 2016 - even if we average to the top 1% of Americans, those people take an average XXXX (look this up).
second,
in america, there's a lot of work to be done, and the vast majority of it comes in the form of products to make and products to fix. your body is also a product to fix. But, there's a lot of work that could be done around town to make the cities you live in.
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How many times have you heard "the government can't do anything right!"
it's a hoax. the truth is, the government doesn't really do anything, and it can easily be changed. The owners don't want to waste work on things that don't make money. A city just needs to contract out a private company to fix a bad road; to build a park. People should get free healthcare.
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However, not all workers are created equal.
the good workers are jealous. we've been taught that there are "unworthy others"; that not all americans are actually equal. But it's not true.
-
so how do we fix it.
Voting.
right now we have two parties. you can guess which parties represent which groups. One party unabashedly represents the owner class. They don't even pretend at this point. the other party claims to represent the workers. Republicans ARE dominant, democrats are submissive. and on the lowest levels, republicans win because people don't want to be submissive, and they have created "undeserving others" as a boogeyman to prevent receiving something wonderful like free college.
the owners are also really good at using religion to keep themselves in power. The witchhunt is still real - candidates on the left are always berrated about how much they support abortion, or their record on gun rights. Gays can finally marry in this country, but has there been a popular openly gay politician? What are people scared of?
I was in montana this year to visit my family. Everybody has guns. It's a way of life. It's a hobby, it's to feel safe. We don't want to take all that away.
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there's work to be done, and there's plenty of money to put into the economy. spending money on a new sidewalk doesn't mean the money disappears. Are you still using that iPhone you bought in 2007? you paid for that, the economy moved on, and it's probably sitting in a drawer somewhere if it hasn't already been given to recycling. Spending money on public works, or on healthcare, doesn't mean it's wasted money; it actually goes back into the economy almost immediately. Instead,
-
So, workers should be voting to create rules that protect them. If the workers banded together, in as few as 6 years from this video being published, no worker in this country would have to work more than 30 hours a week, labor jobs that don't produce value would still be paid enough that these people could relax when they aren't on their feet, healthcare would be free, and hundreds of inventors and scientists could be on their way to solving the climate crisis. Public spaces could be saved and developed, communities could build fast, neutral internet, and we could work with our allies across the globe to continue to keep everyone safe from terrorism and non-human caused threats as well.
-
I've been fed a lie my whole life - work hard and you'll be rich. But it's not true. We're shown examples of extremely talented people who created a product or a system and are now multimillionaires. Jeez, if only I wrote a book about a magic boarding school for wizards; or invented the sham-wow, I'd be rich, too!
But it's a lie the owners want you to believe, because you'll work very hard. Take the game platform Steam for example.
If I created an amazing indie video game, a perfect woven masterpiece of gameplay, new features, graphics, sound, and showed it to the world, maybe it would catch like wildfire, and i could sell a million copies. - That's one way.
But, to steam's eyes, selling a million copies of one game is exactly the same as selling a a million copies of a whole truckload of games that individually might not sell a dozen all by themselves. So they encourage these "indie developers" to work really hard, boys, and holy crap they did. They created 4300 new games to steam in 2016. And they sold very very well. So, the labor tree in steam's case is a hell of a lot wider, and the owners in that case are still just sitting back and letting the money appear.
-
But, don't the winners of this deserve the money they are earning? if somebody figures out the system, shouldn't they be rich?
I'm not advocating the utter takedown of labor trees and the end of western civilization. This is simply how a functioning society works. You've heard from many people and economists everywhere that say "Communism doesn't work". With no incentives and no structure, the west would collapse.
-
what about the stock market?
We simply vote for bigger guaranteed pensions (social security) and earlier retirement ages. The money exists!! The workers exist!! The owners want us instead to put our money in the stock market - which allows them to control and build giant labor trees with a constant stream of new money. instead of work being done to improve our communities, work is being done to create more products that end up as waste.
-
won't rising wages drive up the prices? how will small stores stay in business if they have to pay higher wages?
-
what about my issue? the democrats are the only ones that care about me!
workers need to protect themselves first. as long as somebody performs a task, they should be protected from being fired or being paid less for who they are. if a law stated that everybody's salary had to be public, could a woman make less than a man if she had the exact same position?
"The government can't do anything right!"
it will when we are in charge of it.
What about guns!
You'll need guns to protect yourself from the owners.
-
take my hometown for example. If they made a grand list of everything in town that needed work done to it, to make it a perfect city to live in, they may come up with tens of thousands of hours of work to do fixing city streets, building new parks, planting trees, improving security, building a new school, knocking down a burned out building. It would be massive, but it would be finite. All across the country, communities could sit down and not argue about what would be done first, but just what needs to be done at all. We could devote resources to our country first, and make our cities healthy places to be.
-
but won't companies just move to other countries? america will turn into mexico!!
americans are the most productive workers in the whole world.
And even if the top lost 20% of their income,
-
this is income distribution!
It's work distribution. Having people work is a natural way to earn money. By changing what people do to work, our countr
-
but look around. public things suck! private are way better
they would still be privately built. They could be privately operated. If your post office was twice as big with workers incentized to get people out the door, how must faster would you get in and out of there? How about the DMV? If you asked anybody on the street how to make the post office in their town faster, they could tell you how. It's not rocket science, there just aren't enough workers to do the work.
there's always been workers.
the world is broken into those who dominate and those who are dominated. the strong dominate the weak. it's always been this way; it's why lions sleep 20 hours a day. the males don't even hunt.
at some point in history, there also became the manager. in the beginning, the manager probably also was a worker, but as his management duties became more and more, he stopped working and worked by telling people what to do.
so you have workers, and people who tell people to work.
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slave drivers and slaves
but i'm sure there are managers out there who think "well my job is shit, I get told what to do all the time" and that's also true. That means you're a worker, too. Your work involves telling people what to do.
but somewhere on the top, there are people who don't work, who own the whole tree itself. and as the trees get bigger and bigger, so does the money that makes its way to that person.
giant trees are also risky. if your tree dies, your business crumbles, you might be left with a pile of money, but your tree is dead, too. you can no longer generate wealth. So, instead of owning one tree, I own a fraction of a bunch of trees, so if one doesn't do well this year, the ones that did quite well will make up for it.
this is why a big company hires a new ceo to try something, and even if he fucks up, he still gets big money. the owners have to pay for the fertilizer, even if it doesn't work.
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so let's think about laws for a minute.
there are laws that are obvious - thou shall not kill - intended to protect consumers
and there are also laws you would expect for a business that are common sense ,too, to protect consumers - you must say the contents of something when you sell it.
every year, the leaves fall off the trees. replacing leaves might be more expensive that keeping them on, from a leaf's perspective. If a tree dies, the workers will be inconvenienced to have to find new jobs in the meantime, but the owners who take the free money take a huge blow. So, they also have laws to keep the labors trees alive. Some of them are there to protect little trees - like copyright, but there are also laws that exist to protect giant trees - like a no-community broadband restriction.
-
So how do we change it?
First, why do we want to change it?
in 2017, the average WORKER produced a little over $100 an hour of value to the economy in the united states. That's incredible! However, for all but a disgustingly small fraction of a sliver actually saw anywhere near that kind of money in their pockets. Workers money goes up the trees - the owners and shareholders took in almost $4 trillion in 2016 - even if we average to the top 1% of Americans, those people take an average XXXX (look this up).
second,
in america, there's a lot of work to be done, and the vast majority of it comes in the form of products to make and products to fix. your body is also a product to fix. But, there's a lot of work that could be done around town to make the cities you live in.
-
How many times have you heard "the government can't do anything right!"
it's a hoax. the truth is, the government doesn't really do anything, and it can easily be changed. The owners don't want to waste work on things that don't make money. A city just needs to contract out a private company to fix a bad road; to build a park. People should get free healthcare.
-
However, not all workers are created equal.
the good workers are jealous. we've been taught that there are "unworthy others"; that not all americans are actually equal. But it's not true.
-
so how do we fix it.
Voting.
right now we have two parties. you can guess which parties represent which groups. One party unabashedly represents the owner class. They don't even pretend at this point. the other party claims to represent the workers. Republicans ARE dominant, democrats are submissive. and on the lowest levels, republicans win because people don't want to be submissive, and they have created "undeserving others" as a boogeyman to prevent receiving something wonderful like free college.
the owners are also really good at using religion to keep themselves in power. The witchhunt is still real - candidates on the left are always berrated about how much they support abortion, or their record on gun rights. Gays can finally marry in this country, but has there been a popular openly gay politician? What are people scared of?
I was in montana this year to visit my family. Everybody has guns. It's a way of life. It's a hobby, it's to feel safe. We don't want to take all that away.
-
there's work to be done, and there's plenty of money to put into the economy. spending money on a new sidewalk doesn't mean the money disappears. Are you still using that iPhone you bought in 2007? you paid for that, the economy moved on, and it's probably sitting in a drawer somewhere if it hasn't already been given to recycling. Spending money on public works, or on healthcare, doesn't mean it's wasted money; it actually goes back into the economy almost immediately. Instead,
-
So, workers should be voting to create rules that protect them. If the workers banded together, in as few as 6 years from this video being published, no worker in this country would have to work more than 30 hours a week, labor jobs that don't produce value would still be paid enough that these people could relax when they aren't on their feet, healthcare would be free, and hundreds of inventors and scientists could be on their way to solving the climate crisis. Public spaces could be saved and developed, communities could build fast, neutral internet, and we could work with our allies across the globe to continue to keep everyone safe from terrorism and non-human caused threats as well.
-
I've been fed a lie my whole life - work hard and you'll be rich. But it's not true. We're shown examples of extremely talented people who created a product or a system and are now multimillionaires. Jeez, if only I wrote a book about a magic boarding school for wizards; or invented the sham-wow, I'd be rich, too!
But it's a lie the owners want you to believe, because you'll work very hard. Take the game platform Steam for example.
If I created an amazing indie video game, a perfect woven masterpiece of gameplay, new features, graphics, sound, and showed it to the world, maybe it would catch like wildfire, and i could sell a million copies. - That's one way.
But, to steam's eyes, selling a million copies of one game is exactly the same as selling a a million copies of a whole truckload of games that individually might not sell a dozen all by themselves. So they encourage these "indie developers" to work really hard, boys, and holy crap they did. They created 4300 new games to steam in 2016. And they sold very very well. So, the labor tree in steam's case is a hell of a lot wider, and the owners in that case are still just sitting back and letting the money appear.
-
But, don't the winners of this deserve the money they are earning? if somebody figures out the system, shouldn't they be rich?
I'm not advocating the utter takedown of labor trees and the end of western civilization. This is simply how a functioning society works. You've heard from many people and economists everywhere that say "Communism doesn't work". With no incentives and no structure, the west would collapse.
-
what about the stock market?
We simply vote for bigger guaranteed pensions (social security) and earlier retirement ages. The money exists!! The workers exist!! The owners want us instead to put our money in the stock market - which allows them to control and build giant labor trees with a constant stream of new money. instead of work being done to improve our communities, work is being done to create more products that end up as waste.
-
won't rising wages drive up the prices? how will small stores stay in business if they have to pay higher wages?
-
what about my issue? the democrats are the only ones that care about me!
workers need to protect themselves first. as long as somebody performs a task, they should be protected from being fired or being paid less for who they are. if a law stated that everybody's salary had to be public, could a woman make less than a man if she had the exact same position?
"The government can't do anything right!"
it will when we are in charge of it.
What about guns!
You'll need guns to protect yourself from the owners.
-
take my hometown for example. If they made a grand list of everything in town that needed work done to it, to make it a perfect city to live in, they may come up with tens of thousands of hours of work to do fixing city streets, building new parks, planting trees, improving security, building a new school, knocking down a burned out building. It would be massive, but it would be finite. All across the country, communities could sit down and not argue about what would be done first, but just what needs to be done at all. We could devote resources to our country first, and make our cities healthy places to be.
-
but won't companies just move to other countries? america will turn into mexico!!
americans are the most productive workers in the whole world.
And even if the top lost 20% of their income,
-
this is income distribution!
It's work distribution. Having people work is a natural way to earn money. By changing what people do to work, our countr
-
but look around. public things suck! private are way better
they would still be privately built. They could be privately operated. If your post office was twice as big with workers incentized to get people out the door, how must faster would you get in and out of there? How about the DMV? If you asked anybody on the street how to make the post office in their town faster, they could tell you how. It's not rocket science, there just aren't enough workers to do the work.
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